What I Learned in 3 Years of Searching For Purpose | E100

Gino Cordone [00:00:13]:
Welcome to episode 100 of Working towards our purpose. In today’s episode, we are going to talk about the lessons I’ve learned in the last three and a half years of working towards our purpose. But before we get into that, as always, we’re going to take a moment to slow down, just check in with ourselves, see how we’re feeling today. All right. Hopefully you got a second there to give yourself some time and space. For me, feeling a little bittersweet, I think, because it’s episode 100 and. And that’s quite the milestone. Trying to, like, let that sink in.

Gino Cordone [00:01:00]:
And also that means that I’m going to go on a hiatus and, you know, just as I was, like, pressing record and kind of waiting for the music to start, I was thinking, like, man, I don’t know when the next time I’m going to be doing this. Who knows? Who knows when we’ll come back? But I’m. What’s the word? Hopeful that it won’t be too long, but you never know. So anyways, we’re here at episode 100, and I wanted to do something a little bit different. And really all I kind of want to do is talk about what I’ve learned in the last three and a half years of running this podcast and where it started and where it ended and all the lessons in between. So, yeah, just super casual. Like, I tried to plan things out and, like, I wanted to make it, like, I don’t know, overly planned. And then, like, I kept thinking to myself, like, every time I overly plan stuff, I can’t read my notes, I get lost, and then I end up feeling like I’m not doing a good job so keeping this one super loose and just kind of, like, reminiscing a bit and, like, really trying to just think about, like, the biggest takeaways from the last three and a half years.

Gino Cordone [00:02:10]:
And even more than that, like, five years, you know, five and a half years since I’ve left corporate and kind of just trying to boil it down and. Yeah. And just kind of talk about it. And I guess I’ll start off with, like, you know, why did I start the podcast and where was my intentions when I started it and that sort of thing. And I was working on podcasts for a long time, and, like, that was. I left corporate and I was trying to, like, be a podcast production company, if you will. I started editing podcasts. I had a podcast studio in Nagatak for a little bit.

Gino Cordone [00:02:45]:
I was doing a lot of backend production stuff. And, yeah, just trying to make it as an entrepreneur. When I left corporate. Because again, if this is the first episode you’re listening to, I was in corporate America for six years. I was a mechanical engineer for the military defense contracting complex. And I hated it. And I was miserable and I was making great money, doing all the things I should be doing, quote unquote. But I was really unhappy.

Gino Cordone [00:03:17]:
And that was sort of my escape out. And if you’re more interested. If you’re interested in listening to that whole story, episode one, kind of. I go in depth about that. But, yeah, so I left the corporate world and I started networking and meeting people. And I just thought that there was so many cool people around me. And I was like, wow, people are doing cool things. And A, I want to learn about them more, I want to talk to them.

Gino Cordone [00:03:44]:
And B, I wanted to basically have a podcast that was for somebody like me who is stuck in either corporate America or a job they hated or maybe a life they didn’t like, and sort of was able to hear from people who were doing things that they believed in. Cause me, I felt like when I was in corporate, I didn’t have any authority over my life. I felt like there were so many things that I wanted to do or I was excited about, but I just didn’t do any of them. And so, yeah, when I left and I saw all these cool people sort of on the fringes of, maybe that’s not a good term to put it, but basically just choosing to not do your standard American lifestyle, American dream, get a corporate job, health insurance, all that, they were choosing something different. So I wanted to, like, show examples of people doing that. So for the first 37 episodes of this podcast, it was me interviewing people who I thought were cool and had interesting, neat things that they did or, you know, cool perspectives and that sort of thing. And as I was kind of, like, looking back, there were a couple favorites that stood out. And, like, I loved all of the interviews.

Gino Cordone [00:04:56]:
Like, I didn’t have a bad one, but there was a couple that stood out. And the first one, episode four from Ramona, she was someone I met at, like, a networking event type thing, and she just had like. So I did like three interviews of this podcast and I was getting like, I don’t know, I was feeling like, oh, man, I don’t know if I can do this. This is hard. Like, I just. It doesn’t. I don’t know. I was like, kind of thinking too much about it and being like, I just don’t think I can keep doing this.

Gino Cordone [00:05:28]:
It’s too hard. And then I interviewed Ramona on episode four, and she just had the perfect story of who I was trying to speak to. And she was so nice and kind, and I hardly knew her. And, yeah, hearing her story just really filled me up, and I was like, wow, this is, like. I finished the interview and I was just, like, so full of energy. And I was like, okay, I can keep doing this. Like, these are the people I’m trying to find and trying to share their stories. So that was a really good one for me, personally.

Gino Cordone [00:05:59]:
I loved interviewing her. Another one that came to mind is episode 17, Caroline, who was a client that I had, and I worked on her podcast, but I also got to interview her on the show, and she. I don’t know. I really connect with the work that she’s doing, and she has a lot of. She talks a lot about being seen and heard, and that was something that I really resonate with. Just my story of always trying to make my voice smaller and hide and blend in. And here she is talking about being seen and heard and connecting with humans and people and how beautiful that is. So I really enjoyed that conversation a lot.

Gino Cordone [00:06:46]:
Another one, episode 18 with Dan from Jitterbus, the coffee shop in New Haven Mobile Cafe. I really liked his story about just doing it, just trying stuff and Super DIY. And here Jitterbus is, I think, 10 plus years into the business, and they’re doing great. They have a physical location in my neighborhood now that’s always packed, and I just love. I love that they did it their way and it worked out and people are supportive, and that’s something that I really love, too. And then episode 37 with Adam from Musical Intervention. Just the work that he’s doing with music and helping underprivileged people, people who are normally cast out by society, having music bring everyone together and. And his work with mental health and music, there’s just.

Gino Cordone [00:07:41]:
Yeah, he does so much cool stuff. And I actually listened back to that episode, and I was like, wow, that was a really cool conversation. And I really felt lucky to be able to get his time and have that conversation with him, as I did with all the interviews. Honestly, every interview, I walked away from it, and I’m like, wow, that was awesome. I’m glad that I was able to have that conversation for an hour, because a lot of those episodes were around an hour long. So. Okay, I’m rambling here a bit, I feel. But, yeah, so if you haven’t checked out any of those interview episodes, go listen to them because they’re.

Gino Cordone [00:08:14]:
They’re. They were really fun for me. And I feel like I learned a lot in all of them. And. And so, yeah, so that’s where I started the podcast. And I was like, you know, kind of like trying to talk to cool people, but also like, entrepreneurs, and I was trying to, like, like, learn from entrepreneurs. And. And, you know, at some point along the line between the last three and a half years, I sort of got more and more detached from the identity of entrepreneurship and was just starting to think, like, I don’t know.

Gino Cordone [00:08:48]:
I don’t know if this is really how I want to, like, identify myself or, like, put full focus into. And, you know, the podcast kind of started out as being super around work and me leaving an industry that I, again, didn’t feel connected to or I didn’t feel like I was making a difference. And I wanted to use my energy to do that and to help people or to help make something that was beneficial to society or, I don’t know, just be a positive impact in the world instead of a negative one by contributing to Military Industrial Complex. But so it started there. It started with work and when entrepreneurship didn’t really work out for me, and I never really made enough money to support myself, and I just started becoming more detached from that personality or that identity. And the more I got along, the more into it I got, the more. The more I started thinking about purpose and why are we here? And reading these cool books and interacting with people and connecting with people, the more internal I went. And it shifted from trying to find work that was important.

Gino Cordone [00:10:07]:
There was a time where I was really sort of frantic about finding the right work. I’m like, I need to find what my purpose is so I can start doing it and. And really just go down that path and get there. And then I started realizing that it’s not the specific job that you’re doing for me. And I’m not trying to tell anybody how to believe or whatever, but my path, my story is I realized that the specific job or the work wasn’t really as important as how you’re existing or how you’re presenting yourself or how you treat people or how you take any job that you do. And I started working all these side jobs, and, like, I found things that I liked about them, and I found aspects of community that, like, really made me feel good about my work. And I did a lot of farmers market work and. And I loved interacting with community and.

Gino Cordone [00:11:05]:
And that kind of went sour for reasons that didn’t really have to do with the job, but more so the bosses and the way the nonprofits were being run that I didn’t agree with. And yeah, how, whatever, long story, don’t have to get into it. But, but what I realized, and I’m trying to say is that it, it shifted from like trying to find the job that was my calling and more so shifting inward and internally and figuring out who I am as a person. So it started off as trying to find the right job and then it was like, well, wait a minute, who am I? I realized that I don’t really know myself that well and the timeline of things is a bit washy. But in this process I got the privilege of having time to be quiet and to be alone and to. To reflect and to look inward. And that’s a lot of what this last year of this podcast has been, has been thinking about things like mental health and things that I struggle with, ADHD and depression and the idea of you have to achieve to have worth and value and struggling with all these things and trying to work through those things. And what I found, and of course still on my journey and I always will be, but what I found is that when I started tending to those things that all the other noise just sort of wasn’t as loud anymore and I wasn’t so focused on figuring out what my purpose was or why I’m here.

Gino Cordone [00:12:47]:
And I started just existing and I started just making decisions based on how I felt and what the intuition I had in the moment. And I started living. It felt like. And maybe that sounds dramatic, but I do feel like that. I do feel like if I’m comparing myself to corporate engineering, me versus now, I’m not as worried about where I’m going. I’m more concerned with just trying to make sure that my day to day choices are good choices and the rest of it kind of works itself out. And yeah, I don’t know, I’m thinking right now of how I’m being perceived and how that’s coming off. And I know at some point you need to think about practical things and money and all that stuff.

Gino Cordone [00:13:46]:
And it’s a balance, everything’s a balance. But. But when I found that I put more energy into following my own self and doing it my own way and thinking about what I wanted, then I’ve been more happy. It’s led me to more opportunities that were good fits. It’s led me to where I am right now. And where I am right now is someone who doesn’t have it all figured out, but somebody who is doing things that they’ve wanted to do their whole life. Right now I’m working on two really great music projects and engineering and producing and mixing and recording. And that was something I always wanted to do since before going to college, and now I’m doing it, and that feels so good.

Gino Cordone [00:14:34]:
And it’s a start. It’s like me and my friends, first projects, but first real projects. But we’re working with really cool artists that I love, and that is the coolest thing, and making a positive impact on their life and their music career. And that feels really good. And that, although pays very little at the moment, is very important to me. And I don’t mind working a whole day and then going after work to go work on that. That fills me up and that makes me feel like I’m working with purpose, you know? And it’s not necessarily like the title of the job, but more so me acting in a way that I think is true to me and authentic to me and who I think I am. And that feels really good.

Gino Cordone [00:15:25]:
You know, I’m going to open mic nights and I’m playing my music, I’m taking up space, I’m being heard, which is something that’s super difficult for me and was really difficult for me for a really long time and still is. But I’ve had some great friends that have encouraged me. And, yeah, just being a little bit less afraid of taking up space and being heard, and that’s super deep for me. Super. Yeah. I don’t know. I won’t get into that, but overcoming those things and becoming who I want to be, even though it’s, like, scary and I’m afraid and I think I’m not good enough. Like.

Gino Cordone [00:16:07]:
Like pushing past all that noise and doing it anyways and. And doing what I want, and I found it becomes easier and. And then you get to do more cool things. And then it’s like, wow, now I’m, like, doing stuff that I never even thought of. And yeah, it’s really cool. Like, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m articulating myself very well or if this makes any sense whatsoever. Kind of just going off the cuff.

Gino Cordone [00:16:29]:
But what I’m trying to say is that I’m much happier now than I ever was with a corporate, cushy job that had benefits. And just having the time to think about who I am, like, giving myself the space and being okay with, like, not having it figured out have been some of the most helpful things for Me to be able to make decisions that actually do make me happy and that actually do fit for me. So, yeah, I don’t know. And I’ve learned so much along the way and found so many different things that I never knew that I would enjoy, but now I found things that I know I really care about. And again, although that I don’t have it all figured out, I still have things that I know I like and I know how I want to exist in the world and I could work towards those things. And it doesn’t have to be, like I was saying, it doesn’t have to be a specific job or a business or being an entrepreneur or a musician or whatever. It can just be me existing day to day in the way that feels true and authentic to me. And yeah, that’s like something I didn’t know going into this podcast.

Gino Cordone [00:17:49]:
I thought it was just like, oh, I should be an entrepreneur. I thought I should be that thing. And I found out I don’t really care too much about that anymore. I care more about how, like I keep saying existing day to day, blah, blah, blah, rambling. But yeah, so, you know, I’m not sure how I want to end this. I don’t know if that was helpful at all. It kind of feels rambly, but I always do this to myself, so just lost my train of thought. Hold on.

Gino Cordone [00:18:32]:
Okay, yeah. Oh, I did want to mention this. Okay, so another thing that I’ve learned too, the last process, the last iteration of this podcast, I started back up last year in beginning of July, and I went weekly and then I started doing two a week and then I backed it down to one again. And I’ve basically been recording and releasing an episode at least weekly for almost a full year, like a couple weeks shy of a full year. And I learned a lot about myself in that process too. And at first I wanted this podcast to be big and to have it be a source of income and get monetized on YouTube. And I tried hard for a while to do that and I found I was just losing myself. And I found I was trying to make episodes that I thought people wanted to hear instead of what it is that I felt I needed to say.

Gino Cordone [00:19:21]:
And that was a really big learning process. And again, what I learned in that is, I don’t know, sometimes we focus and I say we me, I focus so much on the numbers of things and I’m like, oh, this podcast only has this many downloads. That’s nothing compared to podcasts that are mid range or podcasts that are making money and all that stuff. Eventually, after beating my head against the wall so many times, I was like, you know what? I don’t care anymore. I’m just making this for me because it’s beneficial for me to think about these concepts and these topics, and hopefully it’s beneficial to somebody who’s listening. There’s a handful of people that are listening each week, and. And I really tried to think about it as not just this numbers game, because when you think about stuff on the Internet, I don’t know, you post a reel and you get 600 views and you’re like, oh, man, that sucked. I Wish I had 500,000.

Gino Cordone [00:20:17]:
But 500,000 people is so many people. 600 people, so many people. And to really try to just think small again and think locally and be like, okay, there’s 15 to 20 people listening to this podcast a week. That’s awesome. That’s so many people. That’s a lot of people. That’s a room full of people. And if it’s helpful for them, then that’s great.

Gino Cordone [00:20:38]:
I’ve done my job. That’s all that I need from this. And when I started thinking about it like that again, I sort of just left all the stuff you’re supposed to do aside, and I just did the things that felt good. I just tried to simplify and to just do the things that felt good. Put episodes out and not think about them too much. And that was a really big process of letting go. And I hear about this a lot in Rick Rubin’s book. He talks about making the art that you want and detaching from the outcome.

Gino Cordone [00:21:09]:
And not just Rick Rubin, but a lot of people say that the artist way, just detaching from the outcome, Making something that you believe in and you really like and you think is good and just putting it out there and detaching from the outcome. And with social media, it’s really hard to do that because there’s so many metrics that are right at the tip of your fingers. But I’ve found that when I can just detach from the outcome and not think, I don’t even really look at the analytics anymore and just make stuff that I think is good and cool, then I feel better about it. And every now and then, I’ll get somebody to be like, hey, I listened to your podcast, and that really helped me out. And that’s the biggest feeling for me of like, okay, that’s great. That’s awesome. That’s why I do this. And, yeah, just detaching from the outcome.

Gino Cordone [00:21:57]:
Stop looking at the numbers, stop thinking about being viral or successful in terms of numbers. And that’s been really helpful for me. And in this last year of me recording this podcast, that’s what I’ve learned. And it gets me to just think about being a smaller community and impacting that small community in a positive way. And I think that’s something that I really care about. And I think that I can do this with this podcast and music, certainly another way to do that. Recording people’s music is another way to do that. And that’s what I found that I care about.

Gino Cordone [00:22:34]:
And I’ll end on this little story, I think. Oh, I do want to. I’ll end on the story in a second. I do want to say something about the listeners because. Because for all of you that have listened, I do really appreciate any time that you spent listening, even if it was just two minutes of an episode or one minute or one episode, if it’s the first episode you listen, I really do appreciate you giving me the time because I know how everything’s just scrolled to the next thing. So, yeah, thank you for listening. I do feel grateful that people do listen. And I did want to.

Gino Cordone [00:23:08]:
I don’t know why, but I felt like I should say the stats mostly to myself so I can listen to them. We have over 3,200 downloads total, which, again, in podcast terms, not great for 100 episodes. But for me, that’s like, a lot. That is a lot of people. That’s a lot of numbers. There’s been people in 45 states that have listened, and this one is the craziest to me, 82 different countries. And, yeah, it’s crazy to think that your voice can reach that far. And, yeah, I don’t know.

Gino Cordone [00:23:41]:
I’m saying it so that I can let it sink in, because sometimes I look at it and I don’t think too much of it, and I’d like to appreciate it. So I’m saying it so that I can appreciate it. Not as, like, a bragging thing, because it’s in comparison to other podcasts, not really even bragging at all. But, yeah, I’m saying it so that I can feel that. So I am grateful for that, and I am appreciative of that. And when I started this three and a half years ago, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t know that I would even get to 100. So I’m very grateful for all that have listened and hopefully been impacted in a positive way.

Gino Cordone [00:24:22]:
So I did want to just touch on that real quick. And then I’ll end with this last story. I was just talking about community and local community. And the world is a crazy place. Maybe it’s always been a crazy place. There’s a lot of stuff going on, a lot of negative stuff going on. But each of us have the power to impact the people around us. I think the most frustrating thing for me when I was in corporate America was that I just felt like I was shutting myself off for 40 hours a week and then I’d get home and once I recovered from how that negatively affected me, then I could turn myself on and maybe impact positively the people around me.

Gino Cordone [00:25:10]:
And that’s why I hated it so much. And I couldn’t quite articulate that back then, but now I can. And now I realize that I don’t have to shut myself off anymore. I don’t have to numb myself and put myself through this experience that I, I don’t want to be a part of just to get a paycheck. And now I can be on at all times. And generally speaking, most times I can say a nice thing or go to an open mic night and compliment somebody who was super nervous, but I thought they were cool and people have done that for me. And yeah, you can positively impact the people that are around you. And though there’s so many things we don’t have control over, we do have control over how we act as ourselves and allowing ourselves to be ourselves and finding out who we even are and making ourselves happy internally.

Gino Cordone [00:26:06]:
So then we can positively impact the people around us. And I’ve certainly seen that within myself. I was not the best person to be around when I was in corporate. Um, and I don’t say that in like a self pity way, but in a self awareness way of like, yeah, I was angry a lot. Like, I had a lot of anger. I had a lot of just negative feelings. And that was okay because it pushed me out of there and that’s what I needed. But yeah, we have the power to like impact the community around us.

Gino Cordone [00:26:36]:
And it doesn’t have to be worldwide. It could be just, you know, the two or three people that you see every day or walk past or say good morning to you. Like, it could be just this little thing that you could positively impact somebody’s life. And those little things add up to the big things. So last night I went to this open mic in Torrington at this really cool place called Howard Bookstore, Howard’s Bookstore. And I followed them online and I’ve seen them before been aware of them. But I went to an open mic night last night, and there wasn’t that many people there. There was a handful of people there, but we had the greatest conversation and we played our songs, and it was just cool to be in a place where somebody is creating community.

Gino Cordone [00:27:23]:
And I think those things are so important to me because the open mic that I go to regularly at Spruce Coffee in New Haven, that’s another place where somebody’s intentionally trying to make a place where people can come and have a good time and share ideas in exchange and motivate each other and impact each other in a positive way. And although there’s all this negative noise going around, there’s people out there that are trying to do positive things and trying to create places for community. And I don’t know, that, to me, is the coolest thing. Like this bookstore in Torrington. It’s not a big city. There’s not that many people there. It’s this old, industrial, kind of rundown city. But there’s pockets of these cool things going on.

Gino Cordone [00:28:09]:
And, like, it’s people that, like, choose to do those sorts of things that are positively impacting the community around them. And, you know, somebody went up there who played guitar for one week, and they performed, and they were like, wow, this feels really cool. Like, I want to keep doing this. And, like, you know, how does that impact that one person’s life? Even if only four people show up every week? It’s like, that’s really cool to have that much of a positive impact on somebody’s life. And, yeah, so I say that to say that’s how I want to choose to exist. I want to be able to do what I want to do and do things that are cool and impact people’s lives in a positive way. And, yeah, I just think that it’s cool that other people are doing that. I still think it’s cool.

Gino Cordone [00:28:56]:
It’s how I started this podcast. But I still just think it’s important to identify that there are people out there doing that. And although it’s hard and it’s not easy as just going to a corporate job and sitting on your ass all day and doing nothing, getting a paycheck, for me, it’s like, it seems like more work to not follow the straight and narrow path, but in the end, for me, I found that it’s actually more work to sit on your ass and do nothing all day long and to just be pissed off at the world and to just be a commentator and you could be a participant in your life you could choose to not do that. And although it seems harder and although everybody tells you it’s harder, it’s not. And what makes it, it is hard work. But you’re doing work that you care about and that’s fun to you and that feels like you’re alive and that’s not work. The other day I worked a 12 hour day. I worked from 9am to 9pm Two different jobs and I thought it was going to be hard and I was like, oh geez, I’m going to be so like tired and stuff.

Gino Cordone [00:30:00]:
The day flew by and I loved doing like I did my, my, my bookmobile job, which I don’t know if I’ve talked about on here, which is awesome. I get to interact with the community. And then I went and did my first live sound gig and it was awesome and I had a lot of fun and like I met people and got to give compliments to musicians and like it was so much fun. And like I was like, that’s not hard. Like that’s fun. Like it seems, maybe it seems hard up front, but doing it, I was like, that’s awesome. Like, do I want to work a 12 hour day every day? No. But what I’m trying to say is like doing those sorts of cool things is way worth for me in my opinion, way worth the trying to figure all the other stuff out and you know, going against the grain and going against what society tells you.

Gino Cordone [00:30:50]:
Because for me that feels more like living and I feel more like I’m positively impacting the people around me. And that was kind of my goal, I guess, with leaving corporate and it took a while and I was like frustrated for a while and frustrated about not making it as an entrepreneur and stuff like that. But right now I feel nothing but gratitude and I feel really fortunate to be able to participate in these things. And I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what will or won’t work out and that’s okay. And I’m okay with how things are going to work out. And yeah, I don’t know if I’m making sense here, but again, that’s what I have to say. Thank you for listening.

Gino Cordone [00:31:33]:
Thank you everybody for listening to the show. And the best way to support me, I think is to just share an episode with a friend. If you listen to an episode and you liked it and it helped, you just share it with somebody who you think it might help. Because that’s my goal with this show, is to just try to help people who feel that they’re stuck, especially in their work and especially in the corporate grind. And. Yeah, just share an episode. And that’s the best way to help me. And thank you so much for listening.

Gino Cordone [00:32:01]:
Thank you forever. Listening. Yeah. Can’t thank you enough. And I don’t know when I’ll be back, but, you know, it might be sooner rather than later, and it might not. But either way, thank you again for listening and I will see you maybe soon. Not sure. Sam.