Why Not Having All The Answers, Is Your Answer – How To Trust Yourself | E92

Gino Cordone [00:00:13]:
Welcome to episode 92 of Working towards our purpose. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about why have. Why not having all the answers is your answer. And before we get into that, we are going to take a moment and just check in with ourselves, slow down for a minute and see how we’re feeling and where we’re at today. Alrighty. Hopefully you got a moment there to slow down for a minute. For me, I’m recording the podcast a little later in the day. Usually I record it pretty early in the morning, but it’s pretty late in the afternoon right now, so this is new for me.

Gino Cordone [00:01:01]:
But yeah, feeling pretty good. Had a pretty good day, I think. Had some cool things happen. So pretty, pretty good for me. And in today’s episode, we are going to talk about why not having all the answers is the answer. And I think that’s what I’m going to name this episode. I always like when overly stress out about the titles because, you know, SEO and you want to make sure people find it, you know, interesting and that and that sort of thing. So it’s always kind of a stressor to come up with the title name and not be too abstract.

Gino Cordone [00:01:36]:
And this one seems a bit abstract, but I might go with it. I’m not sure yet, but either way, we’ll get into it today. So, yeah, I’ve been doing this practice where on Monday mornings, early, like right after I wake up, I will journal type for maybe 15 to 20 minutes. Just about the thing that I’m thinking about this week, usually it has to do with what the podcast is going to be about. So I’m trying to formulate the idea of the podcast in an earlier stage and then I’ll go back and refine it later when I’m doing my planning. But this week I didn’t really have much, so I. I, like, didn’t have a topic that I thought I wanted to talk about, and I usually do. So I was just journaling free thought.

Gino Cordone [00:02:26]:
And then I started coming. These thoughts started coming to me and I realized I was frustrated with myself for not having all the answers to what I want to do. And I think that’s such a common feeling of being frustrated with not knowing everything. And I think that, you know, it kind of. I started thinking about it a lot more and it’s the idea of this episode. But I think that at least for me in the past, like, not having all the answers to something has totally stopped me from doing something, like thinking about anything, like music or being in a band, like, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know people who will play drums or who will do whatever. So because I don’t know how to do that stuff, I’ll just give up and never do it, because I don’t know how to get there.

Gino Cordone [00:03:19]:
I don’t know how to get to the end point, or I can’t visualize the endpoint, so therefore I’ll never do it. But then it’s this thing that kind of always nags at you and why aren’t you doing this thing? Or it keeps coming back to you, the feeling of wanting to do it. So, yeah, we’re just going to get into that, hopefully. I described that feeling a little bit. So, yeah, I was pretty frustrated this past Monday when I was journaling because I was seeing that I didn’t have the answers. And now I’m in a better mindset now, and I’m thinking to myself, yeah, that’s fair that you’re frustrated, but don’t let that stop you. And that’s kind of what the point of this episode is. It’s okay to be frustrated and to be worried about not having all the answers, but don’t let it stop you.

Gino Cordone [00:04:07]:
And if this episode had to be like a sentence, that’s what it would be. So, all right, Let’s see. So I think it’s common to have this feeling because in our society there’s just such. Especially nowadays in our society, there’s just such a glorification of the final product and the success or social media only showing you the positive things, and it never really shows you the work that it took to get there. And I went to a show a couple weeks ago, saw this band, Tiger’s Jaw, and they were really good. And as I was watching them, I was thinking to myself, man, this band’s really good. And people who didn’t go through all the struggling that they went through or didn’t see all the struggling that they went through to get to where they are now, kind of just think like, wow, this band just made this music and now they’re touring and, like, they don’t think about all the hard work that went into it. Or maybe you do.

Gino Cordone [00:05:13]:
I don’t know. I was just thinking to myself, like, this band’s been around for, like, 20 years, and they’re so good right now because they put in all the hard work to get there and all the little steps and all the failures and struggles, and it’s just so easy to forget all that stuff with Social media nowadays, and it’s so easy to just see the final product. So I don’t know. I mean, as I’m saying that now, it doesn’t seem as profound, I guess, but. And not that it needs to, but I just. I always struggle with, like, seeing the end results and then, like, getting frustrated at myself and being like, man, I’ll never get there, or. It’s so hard to allow yourself to not be at the final stage. I think that’s what I’m trying to say.

Gino Cordone [00:05:57]:
It’s so hard to not let yourself. It’s so hard to just let yourself be like a beginner and be new and to put in the reps and to try to do something for a long period of time and not seeing any success. And it’s discouraging to do that, but you have to do that in order to get to the success. So it’s this sort of paradox, I guess, maybe. But yeah, I think. Anyways, I was really thinking about this, and the answer is just the really simple answer, that’s boring. And everybody wants the one trick or the secret to success or whatever. But I think in me thinking about this past week, it’s just like, it’s the boring answer of just, you have to have patience and you have to keep putting in consistent effort and allowing you to guide yourself and to listen to yourself and to not be distracted by so many different distractions that we have these days and just moving to the next thing.

Gino Cordone [00:06:59]:
But, yeah, it’s just boring patience and consistent effort. So, yeah, let me check my notes again. Yeah, so, for example, this podcast, like, you know, when I was, like, putting this. When I was restarting this podcast, I don’t know, almost like eight or ten months ago at this point, I was thinking about, like, how I wanted to. How I wanted it to look like. I see the podcast on YouTube. I see, like, you know, people doing the clips on YouTube and Instagram and just all the things, thumbnails. Like, there’s so many things to think about.

Gino Cordone [00:07:37]:
And when I restarted it, I started with just getting it going, just doing the audio version. And I was able to just kind of keep consistent and keep doing it. And then every week I tried to make a slight improvement. And that was really so helpful for me to actually get to the point where I am now, where it’s on YouTube, it’s on every streaming platform, I have a website, everything you can think of, LinkedIn, I’m everywhere and. And I’m proud of that. But it didn’t come all at Once, and it came through just getting started, just starting, and then trying to improve a little bit each time. So I think that’s, for me, a reminder, a perfect example of, okay, well, the things that you want now that you don’t have, you have to start the same way. Just get started and just try to make as much progress as you can with a lot of time that you have.

Gino Cordone [00:08:29]:
Um, so. So, again, nothing like crazy or no secret hacks here, but, like, just how simple that is and like, a reminder of that. And like, I. I need the reminder for myself. And. And this week, this is, like, this is what I kind of needed was to remember this sort of thing. And the next time that, like, I’m feeling or that you’re feeling like you don’t have all the answers and you’re stuck and you can’t get started, like, where do you begin and where do you begin to get back to a point where you feel confident in your direction? And so I think I’ve got these three sort of steps that have helped me and the three steps that I’ve kind of walked through this week. And the first one is just letting go and having patience.

Gino Cordone [00:09:16]:
And I think when you’re kind of in a mode of wanting to have the end point or wanting to have something accomplished, but you’re not there, it’s like, patience is so hard. And I’m not patient. We’re all not patient. And it’s difficult to have patience sometimes, and especially when things take way longer than they need to, or I shouldn’t say that when they take longer than you want them to take, it’s hard to have patience. And, yeah, I mean, I struggle with that all the time with this podcast, looking at the numbers and being like, oh, man, I wish I had more people listening and trying to think about where I would like to be, but it requires patience. It’s not up to me how many people can listen. I can do what I can on my end, but I also can’t force people to turn on a podcast and listen to it, nor would I want to. So the reminder that there’s only so much that you can do and to.

Gino Cordone [00:10:20]:
As long as you’re confident in what you’re doing and you’re doing good work or what you believe to be good work, that’s the most important thing. And then letting go and kind of trusting the process that it will come and you can move forward in a way that feels best to you and eventually it will return in the way that you want it to or in the way that maybe you don’t want it to, but. But yeah, kind of just letting go because there’s only so much control that you can have. And trying to control everything is like exhausting and infuriating sometimes. So trying to just let go. And then the second thing would be so, like, the three of these things, I think is like, what helped me realize, like, it’s okay to not have all the answers. So first one, letting go. Second one is like knowing yourself and knowing what you want.

Gino Cordone [00:11:12]:
And I think that’s something that I’ve been working on a lot recently, is figuring out what it is that I want. And more specifically with music and what I want to do with music. And I want to record other artists and other local bands and have a studio and do that sort of thing, and identifying what that looks like for me and what works for me, so then I can make those steps towards it. And I think this tripped me up for a while and will probably continue to trip me up. But to think about what’s right for you, because there’s so much outside influence, there’s so much stuff online of people telling you how to be successful and whatever, and I’m sure a lot of it’s good stuff. But there’s only one of you, and you’re the only one that knows what’s going to make you happy. But it takes work to figure out what that is. It takes time to figure yourself out, and it takes time to articulate what it is that you want to do and what you want to contribute, what you want to do for work.

Gino Cordone [00:12:16]:
All that stuff takes time. And it’s by knowing yourself that can help you find the direction that works for you. And I have this analogy that I’m going to probably stumble through. It’s probably not going to make any sense, but bear with me. I always visualize somebody giving you say you’re going hiking and somebody tells you where to go. They’re telling you the map and. And depending on who you ask, it’s gonna be different. And some people want a super intense hike where it’s really steep, and some people want a not intense hike, and there’s a bunch of different trails.

Gino Cordone [00:12:50]:
And if you ask somebody, oh, what’s the best path? And they tell you, oh, the really steep one because it gets you there quicker, but that’s not what you want, then it’s not helpful for you. It didn’t work for you. You weren’t looking for that. So you kind of have to take everybody’s advice with the lens of what you want. And that’s really hard to do. It’s hard to hear, especially if people are forceful with advice. It’s hard to be like, that’s great, but that doesn’t work for me. And that’s a lesson that I’ve learned over and over again and will continue to.

Gino Cordone [00:13:28]:
Is just learning to see what’s best for me. And I think that that’s really, really kind of helpful and has been helpful for me. And then. So. Yeah. And so, you know, learn yourself, like, learn what you want to do, like what process or. Sorry, I’m trying to read my notes here. I really need to get better at writing notes because I have a hard time reading them.

Gino Cordone [00:13:53]:
What feels good to you? Like. Yeah. And what it is that you really care about. Because at the end of the day, maximizing your productivity is only helpful if you’re being productive at the thing that you want to accomplish. So, yeah, hopefully that analogy made any sense. I don’t know. Feeling a little all over the place in this episode, but that’s okay. And then the third thing would be to just put in that consistent effort.

Gino Cordone [00:14:22]:
And I think anything that anybody that’s ever been successful has always just put in consistent effort over time. And again, going back to that analogy of hiking, putting in consistent effort in the right direction, in the direction that works for you. So three steps altogether is letting go, having patience, knowing which direction works for you, and then putting in consistent effort. And if you’re doing those three things, having patience, it will pay off over time, and you’ll see results over time. And it’s like anything. It’s so simple. But when you get anxious in your head and you start having an unregulated nervous system, you’re stressed out and you’re feeling all these things of it’s never going to work out and what am I doing and all that stuff, it can become difficult to not see that. And I’m in a good mindset right now.

Gino Cordone [00:15:18]:
I’m in a clear head, so it’s easy for me to think that this is really simple stuff. But when you’re not feeling like that, when you’re overwhelmed and anxious and not in a good headspace, it’s really hard to see that. And I think that’s what I want to end on, is a reminder that when you’re over, you can be. We go in different, like, moods and different cycles. And, like, sometimes something feels extremely overwhelming, and then the next day it doesn’t feel overwhelming. And, like, sometimes you’re super Critical of yourself. And then sometimes you’re not that critical of yourself. And this, this happened to me last night.

Gino Cordone [00:16:01]:
Like, I was going to bed, couldn’t fall asleep, and I was just thinking about, like, the things that I want to do, and I’m like, oh, I’m never going to get there. You know, the same thing as what we’re talking about. I’m never going to get there. Like, how am I going to get this? How am I going to be able to make enough money by recording local musicians when I, like, you know, I don’t have the income right now? And, like, just like, way overthinking it. And then I realized that, like, I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I stayed up late watching a hockey game. And I didn’t. I forgot my coffee at home, so I didn’t have coffee at work.

Gino Cordone [00:16:32]:
And I had a massive headache by the end of the day. And I was like, hold on. I’m in a really terrible headspace right now. Really low energy level. Everything that my brain’s telling me right now is total garbage. It’s not helpful. None of it that I’m coming up with right now is going to help me. So why don’t we just put a pin in this and think about it tomorrow? And I kind of visualize that.

Gino Cordone [00:16:58]:
Visualized putting a pin in it and being like, let me think about it tomorrow. Then you wake up tomorrow. I woke up today and it’s all gone. I was in a good mood. And so I don’t know. For me, it’s like, again, such an easy thing. But recognizing when you’re not in a great mood or when you’re being overly critical of yourself or when you’re feeling sad or depressed, it’s like, try not to take those thoughts too seriously. When you’re in that mindset, try to wait.

Gino Cordone [00:17:32]:
Try to wait until you’re past it. You don’t always have to believe your thoughts, especially when you’re not in a good mood or a high energy level, I think. You know what I’m saying? I’m trying to come up with different ways to say it, but yeah, so that’s the last thing. So you don’t have to have all the answers. You probably never will have all the answers. But it’s totally overwhelming to not have all the answers. So having none of the answers is your answer, if that made any sense. Hopefully this was helpful.

Gino Cordone [00:18:08]:
A little bit different of an episode, it feels like. But as always, you can download my Softening your inner critic 7 day guide in any link anywhere on the show notes or on YouTube or on my website workingtowardsourpurpose.com you can go ahead and download that for free and I will see you on another episode real soon. Take care and thanks for listening.