Sometimes you give up on something because you’re butt hurt and burnt out. When your feelings get bruised, it’s easy to walk away. I’ve been thinking a lot about this because of a realization I’ve had about my business I gave up on.
Pleasant Podcasts was a business I started out of desperation to leave my corporate engineering job. It was a side hustle I started by editing other people’s podcasts back in 2018. It grew into something bigger as I left my corporate job and tried to make it work full time. I opened a podcast studio before the pandemic, and then pivoted into more comprehensive work with clients as they asked for more and more help in different areas. I did everything from production work to full-on podcast launches.
I chose podcasting because I had audio engineering experience through music and thought it was the only other skill I had to offer than my degree in mechanical engineering. I didn’t think I was good enough in audio to work in music—which is what I really wanted—so I found podcast editing. I tried a lot of different things over the years. Growth was slow, but I had a solid year in 2023 where I made decent money as a solopreneur.
As the new year hit, I lost my biggest client.
At that point, after so many pivots, I felt burnt out. I was already working side jobs to make ends meet, and I found one that I really enjoyed. A summer gig in farmers markets. I loved being outside, being involved in the community, and the human connection aspect of it. That summer, I kind of stopped thinking about Pleasant Podcasts. I kept up with a few clients, but by fall, it didn’t even feel like I had a business anymore. By the end of 2024, I decided I was done. Done with podcasting.
Looking back, I realized I only started Pleasant Podcasts because it was something I knew how to do, and it was vaguely in the audio world. The more I thought back, the more I remembered, podcasting was only supposed to be a way to fund working with music. Music was the thing I truly wanted all along. Music has always been the thing. It just took me a while to admit that to myself. I kept thinking I’d get to it “someday,” but at some point you have to decide to actually do the thing that you want to do. And for the past year or so, I’ve been focusing hard on my own music. Writing, recording, mixing, and releasing it. That last part was always the hardest part. But now, I’ve made releasing music a habit. I’ve reached a place where I’m truly prioritizing it.
Music doesn’t make me money, at least not yet, and that’s okay. Because it gives me so much more than cash ever could. It brings me joy, a sense of belonging, and it makes me feel alive to create something and put it into the world. Music was supposed to be the end goal, but I realized that I could do it now. I don’t have to have a successful business in order to allow myself to make music.
I don’t prioritize money as much as most Americans, but I do admit that I need it. Lately, I’ve felt stuck in the job that pays me. It used to be something I liked, but now it’s become a place where I don’t feel heard or valued. So I know I need to make a change.
I started looking for new work, something that pays me but doesn’t consume me. As I scanned through many jobs with different requirements, pay, and conditions I didn’t want, my mind went back to Pleasant Podcasts. I remembered how great it was to set my own schedule. It made me wonder why I stopped in the first place. So I took a hard look at what went wrong.
For the first time, I looked at it objectively. Then it hit me. When I lost that big client early in 2024, it crushed me because I had already tried so many pivots and different approaches. Just when things felt like they were finally clicking, losing that big client knocked me off my feet. I was hurt. It felt unfair. So I avoided trying to problem solve another pivot. I was fed up and I didn’t think about Pleasant Podcasts all summer. By the fall I had given up on it.
I never really faced what went wrong because I was too upset to look at it. It felt too painful to start again, so I quit. And honestly, that’s the only way failure happens.
You only truly fail when you decide to give up on something.
After some reflection, I thought about the progress I’d made, what I could’ve done better, and the changes I’d want to make moving forward. Slowly, I got excited about problem solving again. I started thinking about who my target market really is, how I would reach them, and what problem I’m really solving. I never looked at Pleasant Podcasts this way before because I started it before I learned about a lot of the business basics. It was my first business, and I was learning everything on the fly. It made sense that I held onto it like it was part of my identity, which is why I felt so ashamed and hurt when things didn’t go well.
Part of my problem was I was way too attached and a little too prideful to accept that these basic business principles applied to me. Whenever I heard terms like “target market” or “marketing strategies,” I’d just think my industry was special and that didn’t apply to me. I couldn’t see that I had no clear target market, no real marketing plan, and no clear problem I was solving.
I’m not sure if I’ll give my first business another go or not just yet, but I feel much better about not having to avoid it anymore. I’ve finally gotten unstuck, and now I can make a decision based on what I truly want—not out of fear or shame. It’s another option I can choose going forward. I know change is necessary for me now, and with a little more clarity I can choose the path that works best for me in this season. Most importantly I have learned that I don’t need to make Pleasant Podcasts successful in order to pursue and prioritize music.