Is It Too Late to Find Your Purpose? 2 Actions to Uncover the Gifts You’ve Ignored | E86

Gino Cordone [00:00:13]:
Welcome to episode 86 of Working Towards Our Purpose. In today’s episode, we are gonna talk about the question, is it too late to find your purpose? But before we get into that, I’m gonna take a moment and check in with ourselves, see how we’re feeling. All right, hopefully you got a second to see where you’re at today. Um, for me, feeling a little bit self-critical, maybe like medium self-critical. Um, feeling a little down, I think. But yeah, feeling like I’m not in a high enough energy level to talk about my topic today, but that’s okay because I think it’s part of the topic too. So yeah, with that, let’s get into it. Today I want to talk about feeling like it’s too late to find your purpose.

Gino Cordone [00:01:16]:
And then at the end of the episode, we’ll get into two things that you can do two actions that you can use to find your own gifts and, you know, your own purpose. So this episode idea came to me when I was watching the Olympics. It’s the first episode that I’m recording since the Olympics are over, and I didn’t watch too much of it, but I was really into the hockey, and both men and women won gold. So that was really cool. Excited about that. And yeah, just watching like the players, the different players, like hearing some of the backstory and, you know, the men’s US team had two sets of brothers, the Hughes brothers and the Tkachuk brothers. And yeah, just thinking like how specifically the both of them like grew up playing hockey together and like devoting their whole lives to hockey. And yeah, I like, like knowing at such a young age that like, that’s what you want to do and like committing 100% of your life to it.

Gino Cordone [00:02:17]:
And, you know, it’s romanticized on TV. So like, You know, it’s easy to like look at it and sort of feel a certain way. But yeah, I think I had like mixed feelings about it. Like part of me was like, that’s so cool. Like I’m really happy for them. Like that’s like a lifetime’s worth of work and getting to getting a gold medal. That’s like, you know, what you dream of as a kid. So it’s cool to see that happen.

Gino Cordone [00:02:43]:
But I also think it makes me question my own path, my own purpose, my own choices. And I guess it made me feel a little bit jealous, a little bit like, dang, I didn’t know what I wanted to do then. Almost wishing I would have known so I could have had more time to get good at it and figure it out and stuff. And all sorts of these negative comparison thoughts. And I was able to realize, okay, these aren’t really helpful thoughts right now. Everybody’s got a different path. This is just one example. And sort of backed myself off a cliff a little bit.

Gino Cordone [00:03:30]:
But yeah, I think it’s so normal to see something like that and to see people compete at a high level and excel. And win, and then turn the camera on yourself and be like, well, what have I done? And I think maybe that’s happened to you when you were watching the Olympics, like thinking, sitting on your couch watching it, being like, oh man, what am I doing with my life? It’s too late for me to do anything meaningful or impactful. And yeah, I just want to break that. That’s not a true thought. That’s not like, I understand where it comes from and it makes sense when you’re comparing yourself, but it’s not true. Yeah, so we’ll get into that in a second. But I also had these thoughts of like, oh, have I found my thing yet? I don’t know if I found my thing. I don’t know totally what my thing is or if I have it dialed in completely.

Gino Cordone [00:04:29]:
I still work side jobs and stuff. So, like, the stuff that I work— that I want to be working on isn’t necessarily enough to, like, you know, pay me. And so that brings, like, inadequacy feelings and, like, you know, feelings of, like, well, maybe this isn’t working or maybe this isn’t it. But yeah, so those are all the feelings that I’ve had. And I want to address them and to talk about them because I think I’m probably not the only one that feels like that. Especially like, you know, if there’s a voice in your head that wants to pursue something and wants to like find your purpose and find meaningful work. And yeah, so I think that it’s important to say that like, I think everybody has gifts and unique talents and skills and great things within them, but not everybody gets to utilize those skills and talents like in their job, in their career, in their life even. Maybe, I don’t know, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but especially with work, you know, like, ’cause I know that to be true ’cause it was me.

Gino Cordone [00:05:34]:
Like, I was working as an engineer and like, I went into it because I was good at math, but it wasn’t like what I cared about and it wasn’t what I found excitement and joy in. So then when I went into that job, it was just, I was just always bored and it never clicked for me. It never really worked and I was just confused. But it wasn’t until later in life that I found certain skills that I possessed and that job really used none of them. So it made sense that I was so frustrated in that job and in that career path. But yeah, I mean, I think everybody, Everybody does have gifts, and I think sometimes it can be hard to recognize your own gifts, and especially when you’re not using them. And I say that because, again, that’s how I felt. Like, sometimes, like, the things that we’re good at just come easy to us, and we don’t even really recognize them as skills.

Gino Cordone [00:06:34]:
And that is something that, like, I found time and time again with my life, like, thinking that something wasn’t really a big deal. And then years down the road, somebody being like, oh, you can do that. That’s really helpful. And me being like, oh, I thought everybody could do this. So I think sometimes your own skills can really be a blind spot because they’re so used to you. You’re so used to it and they come kind of naturally to you. So I did want to say that because I think even just one example for me comes to mind and I’ve probably told this before, but I started playing guitar in high school and I don’t know, it just, like, I did teach myself and it didn’t feel like it came naturally to me. But now looking back and, like, I don’t know, I guess maybe seeing other people play guitar and learn how to play guitar, I did pick it up pretty easily.

Gino Cordone [00:07:32]:
It was obviously hard and a lot of practice, But I think, I don’t know, there’s something in the way that it feels right to you, it’s comfortable to you. I don’t know, it kind of just always made sense to me, I guess. And so anyways, I didn’t believe that for a long time. And I remember I was in Guitar Center one day just trying out a guitar ’cause I used to go play all the cool guitars. And one of the employees came up to me and was like, “Hey, are you in a band?” And I was like, “No, are you kidding? I’m terrible. I can’t be in a band.” And I didn’t say that, but I was just like, no. And he was like, oh, you should be in a band because you’re good. And that really shifted my perspective because I was like, what does he mean? I’m bad.

Gino Cordone [00:08:15]:
So it made me kind of question how I saw myself. And I think that was probably an early moment where I was like, maybe I’m being a little too hard on myself. But I still didn’t do anything about it. I just kind of let it pass. But yeah, thinking about it now, I definitely was good enough to be in a band and you don’t even really need to play guitar that well to be in a band. So yeah, just thinking about the idea of some things coming easy to you, but you not really recognizing that they’re easy because they’re like, you’re kind of like natural to it or because you’re just being really hard on yourself. So I think that that’s like a part of finding the things that, like, are special to you, your special unique talents, gifts, your calling, purpose, whatever you want to call it. I always struggle, like, talking about articulating it with a word, but sometimes they’re hidden because they come naturally to you.

Gino Cordone [00:09:12]:
And that was the point I was trying to make. So everybody has gifts, but not everybody gets to use them in their career or their job. And I think that’s what working towards a purpose is. Kind of all about is like trying to align your gifts, talents, the things that you enjoy to do with your job and with your career and what you get to do to make a living. And yeah, like something also I’ve been thinking about recently is how much of a choice that is. And I know that there will be people that will disagree with this, but I think like you do get to choose what you do. And I don’t know, I was thinking the other day, I know I’m good at these certain things and I now have the capability of going and trying to find work or a job or a business that aligns with those things and lets me use those things that I think I’m kind of good at. And that’s a choice.

Gino Cordone [00:10:14]:
You can make a change. You can You can leave a career, you can start a business, you could do kind of whatever you want. And there’s boundaries around that and certain things. But I do think that once you recognize what you’re good at, it becomes easier to be like, oh, I think I’m actually going to like this job, or at least I want to give it a shot and try it out. So yeah, I think that that’s, it’s an interesting thing to think about, like, especially if you’re sitting in a job and you hate it to think about like, well, what would it be like if I had a job that used my talents and skills and I was excited about it and I was excited to do it and I didn’t hate doing it? Yeah, so just like, yeah, ask yourself that question. What would that feel like? ‘Cause I think I do that a lot. And I think I like that. I think I like envisioning that.

Gino Cordone [00:11:13]:
And I think I like trying to think about like how I can better use my time here. ‘Cause yeah, you know, it goes away fast. So, but yeah, anyways, that’s kind of a tangent. Let me see. I kind of wrote my notes a little too small today, so I’m having a hard time reading them. Oh yeah, one last thing before we get into the two steps of being able to find your gifts. I think a lot of times we focus on things that we’re bad at, and especially in jobs, I always was told to work on the things that I sucked at, and that’s not usually fun, but also I think it sort of minimizes, well, you could be using that time and doing the things that you’re good at, and maybe you don’t need to do everything. And I understand why it has a place in, in like corporate America and stuff.

Gino Cordone [00:12:05]:
Like you were hired for a job and you need to do all those tasks, but in maybe a grander scheme, um, always focusing on like the things that you’re not really that good at. There’s, there’s, you know, positives in like getting better at some things, but like, I think I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to fix the things that I’m not good at instead of like double downing on is that word double downing? Double down? I don’t know. You know what I mean? On the things that you’re good at, like focusing and spending time doing the things that you’re good at instead of trying to fix the things that you’re not good at. So I think that that’s also something that I think about and try to remind myself, like, you don’t need to be good at everything. You don’t need to know how to do everything. That’s why there’s you know, so many of us, and we all have unique different talents. And I think that trying to focus more on the things that we’re good at can bring us more joy out of our work and more satisfaction. And yeah, just working on something that you’re excited about versus something you hate is just a completely different way to approach it.

Gino Cordone [00:13:13]:
And, you know, I think you’re more focused, you get more things done when you want to be doing it versus like knowing that you’re bad at it and just doing it because you’re trying to get a little bit better. So, you know, take that with a grain of salt, but that was just a thought that I had. So, yeah, let’s get into the two things that you can do to find your gifts if you feel like maybe you don’t have any, because I definitely know what that feels like. And I think the two things that— one thing really helped me, and then the other thing is something that I always hear people say, So I’ll do the first one. People always say, like, in order to find, like, your gifts or your talents or your calling, like, what do people always come to you for? And this one can be a little tricky because, again, you can, like, it could be a blind spot and you kind of don’t even notice it. But using this tactic, I think, might be helpful. So, like, if you’re into this and you’re curious, like, what people come to you for, for the next week or so, get a piece of paper or get a journal or take out your notes app on your phone. And anytime somebody like comes to you for a question or asks you a question, like write it down and see what it is that people come to you for.

Gino Cordone [00:14:26]:
And I’m not talking specifically about like work problems, but like, what do your friends ask you for? Or like, you know, what does somebody come up to you at work and say? Like, you know, maybe they’re, maybe you’re a hockey fan and they’re like coming up to you to talk about the hockey game. It could be anything like, like what do people most go to you to talk to or to look for help? Because I think that that shines a light on the things that you’re good at or you have knowledge in or that you’re articulate in. So I think that this one is a little bit harder, but if you can like try to document the things that people come to you for, it can help give you some insights into like what are the things that you’re naturally good at. And then the second thing is a CliftonStrengthsFinder. And I know that’s like a super corporate answer. And I did do one of these tests, not in a corporate job, but in one of my side jobs, like last year or the year before. And it was actually really interesting. You do have to pay for it.

Gino Cordone [00:15:28]:
I think it’s maybe like $70 or something like that. I don’t know. I’ll put a link in the show notes. And maybe you can get your company to pay for it for you because, you know, they do that sometimes. But it was really helpful because it broke down. So it has you ask like a bunch of questions. It’s like just an online test. I can’t remember how long it took, but it was probably like, I don’t know, 50 to 100 questions or something like that.

Gino Cordone [00:15:54]:
And you just like answer these questions and you’re supposed to do it like as fast as you can. So you don’t like overthink it. And so I believe it was timed. And at the end of it, it basically just prints out this report and says what your strengths are. And it also, I think it categorized it into 4 or 5 different topics and it was color-coded. So, you know, it was really helpful because it puts the data in a really readable way and it prints out this report for you. So for me, My biggest one, I can’t remember exactly what the category was, but it was like empathy and relating to people and like communication. So it was kind of cool to see that because I didn’t really expect that for some reason.

Gino Cordone [00:16:41]:
Like I never thought about that being a strength, I guess, or never really thought of using that in a job or using that in what I do or using that to help people. So it was nice to just like kind of see it on paper and, you know, I’m sure it’s not 100% accurate, but it felt validating to have this test tell me like, hey, you’re good at these things and these things you kind of lack. So yeah, organization was another one that I was good at, which is interesting because I feel like, you know, like part of my brain can be analytical and good, but then the other part of my brain is like emotional and like having both of those things kind of come together. Yeah, that test made me kind of feel seen and made me feel like I did have some strengths and talents. So if you’re feeling like you don’t have any, I think that test is a really good thing to do to help give you some insight. So yeah, so those are the two things that I think you can use to try to find your gifts if you’re feeling like you don’t know what they are. First thing is like seeing what people come to you for. And trying to log that and write that down for like a week.

Gino Cordone [00:17:50]:
And then the second is the CliftonStrengths test. And I’ll link that in the show notes, like I said. But yeah, so I just wanted to like have this episode to talk about and to encourage you, hopefully, that it’s not too late to find the things that— to find work, to find something that you feel purposeful in or feel like is your calling. I think it’s never too late to find it. And I think a lot of times we can compare ourselves and we can sort of belittle ourselves and belittle our talents and belittle the things that we’re good at because we didn’t win a gold medal. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not helpful. And that doesn’t mean that it’s not gonna help the people around you and the community that you’re in. And, you know, everybody who you come in contact with, you could change in a positive way.

Gino Cordone [00:18:39]:
And I think that when you’re, working in alignment with yourself and your gifts, then you can do that more often. And yeah, I think I’ll end it there. But yeah, if you enjoyed this episode or any of these episodes, if you could share it with a friend, I’d really appreciate that. And if you haven’t left a review on Spotify or Apple, if you could take a moment to do that, I would really also appreciate that. And then in return, I have a free guide for you, 7 Days to Softening Your Inner Critic. If you feel like you are hard on yourself, you can download this guide and it’s a 7-day short, like 20 minutes a day for 7 days, and it’ll help you hopefully be a little bit kinder to yourself. So that’s available for you in the show notes of any episode. And yeah, that’s all I got for you this week.

Gino Cordone [00:19:38]:
Hopefully, this is helpful. And I appreciate you tuning in. I’ll see you on another episode real soon. Take care.