Stream on:
Holidays Can Be Hard
The holiday season isn’t always joyful for everyone. I think for a lot of us this time of year brings up stress, anxiety, and feelings of our past self. Expectations and comparisons of family members can also weigh us down making us feel like we’re not as far along as we should be or we’re not doing enough. When I’m with family members who remember me from years ago, I find myself slipping into someone who isn’t quite as authentic as I’d like to be. It’s easy to feel pressure to fit into old molds, especially when your path has changed or doesn’t look as “acceptable” to others.
Showing up as Your Authentic-Self
When I was thinking about why sometimes I can walk away from holiday get togethers and feel low energy, self critical, or even bad about myself, it’s usually because I felt like I wasn’t honoring my authentic self. I’ve noticed holidays tend to make me feel like a younger version of me, either like a kid or back when I was working in the corporate world. This person didn’t speak up, was quiet, and didn’t feel like he could be his authentic self. It makes sense that these feelings come up when seeing family who knew you as a kid and people who I don’t see too often. So what can we do about it?
4 Self-Acceptance Tools For The Holidays:
Accept The Older Versions of Yourself
I look at past versions of myself with shame and judgment. I realized that if I wanted to accept who I am now, I also need to accept these other versions that I don’t like as much. Practicing empathy for who I was is key. We can allow these past self’s to come up and meet them with compassion instead of trying to hide them and shame ourselves. The person you were in the past isn’t “bad”, they were doing the best they could with the tools they had. Instead of feeling shame or frustration when old habits or feelings resurface, try to meet them with some compassion. This acceptance helps create room for present-day self-acceptance.Focus on What Excites You
Talking about yourself can be hard if you’re not proud of where you are, and during the holidays, people most likely will ask. If you dread talking about work, or you’re in a transition, shift the conversation to what you are excited about. Maybe it’s a side project, a book you loved, a creative pursuit, or a hobby you’re growing. If someone at a holiday party starts a conversation about something you don’t really want to talk about, you get to steer the conversation toward what lights you up, not just what’s traditionally “expected.” This may lead to a better more engaged conversation rather than the obligatory, “how’s work going?”.Find Gratitude
Holidays can be overwhelming, but there’s always something, no matter how small, you can appreciate. Whether it’s a one nice conversation, a supportive friend, or simply the chance to rest. Making space for gratitude can help reframe tough situations and anchor you in the present moment.Show Yourself Extra Compassion
This time of year can dig up all sorts of feelings; stress, anxiety, and sadness. Being patient with yourself and extending a little more grace than usual. Being kind to yourself can help ease you through this time. It’s okay if you don’t have everything “together”, we are all on our own paths.
As you move through the season, keep these steps with you as you navigate throughout this month and beyond. Remember, the holidays aren’t just about showing up for others, they’re a chance to show up kindly for yourself, too.
Let me know in the comments, are the holidays hard for you?
This article was drafted with the help of AI (castmagic: podcast to text) but then reviewed and edited by a human being.