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Feeling Out of Control? Here’s What Actually Helps
In episode 70 of Working Towards Our Purpose, we talk about a feeling a lot of us know all too well: feeling out of control in our lives and work. Whether you’re trying to build something, start a business, complete a creative project, or even just keep up with everyday goals, it can be easy to spiral when you feel like you don’t have control over the outcome.
Where Is This Anxiety Coming From?
I realized that my recent bout with higher levels of anxiety stemmed from the uncontrollable aspects of my YouTube channel’s growth. Monetization is tied to how many people subscribe and watch, which is out of my control. Waiting to get enough viewers was making me feel overwhelmed because it’s out of my control. I felt like my future of being able to make an income with YouTube is out of my hands.
Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Often, when things feel overwhelming or uncertain, we get stuck. This is because of our bodies reaction to protect itself from stress or danger by sending us into a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. For me, the most common response with a stressful situation is freeze. My thoughts start to spiral and I freeze, unable to do anything that moves me forward. So what can we do to get unstuck and get that sense of control back?
Two Practical Steps To Feel Back In Control
Calm Yourself Down: Whatever works for you—meditation, a walk, a cup of tea, breathwork—pause and let your body know that you are safe. When you’re in freeze mode, it’s almost impossible to think clearly or solve problems.
Take an Action, No Matter How Small: Once calm ask: “What’s one thing I can do right now, that is in my control?” It doesn’t have to be huge, send an email, make a call, plan a small step forward. Action brings a sense of agency and shifts your mindset so you can feel back in control again.
Focus on What You Can Create, Not What You Can’t Control
While I realized I couldn’t control how quickly subscribers found me, I could create something useful for my audience. I could make a course, a helpful guide, or different offer. I don’t have to wait for YouTube monetization to start making money with my podcast and YouTube channel, there’s something I can do right now. By creating a new product that I can sell, I’m giving myself something to work on that is in my control. Shifting my focus has made a real difference in my anxiety levels and motivation towards my goals.
Final Thoughts
Next time you feel out of control, recognize that this is a normal feeling and start with trying to first calm your mind. Then take just one step you can control. It really can help you move forward and feel more in control, even in the midst of uncertainty.
Let me know what you do to help from feeling out of control in the comments!
This article was drafted with the help of AI (castmagic: podcast to text) but then reviewed and edited by a human being.