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Do You Struggle With Feeling Proud of Yourself?
Let’s talk about how to celebrate small wins, rewrite narratives, and become your own cheerleader!
We Need To Talk About Self-Belief
The idea that we should be proud of ourselves seems simple, at least in theory, but in practice, it’s often challenging to get ourselves to slow down long enough to celebrate our own progress. After reflecting on my own journey and recent conversations (including advice from my therapist), I wanted to dig deeper into why it can feel nearly impossible to let ourselves experience pride and how to take real action to change that narrative.
Embracing Pride: I Finally Felt Proud
Recently, I went on an intentional dinner with my partner to talk about our wins and what we were proud of. It ended up being a really insightful conversation and I was able to really see the progress that I’ve made. I allowed myself to truly feel proud of what I had accomplished and to sit with that feeling, rather than immediately brushing it aside. Afterwards, I also noticed a bonus burst of creative motivation and a more energized few days that followed.
I realized that this kind of self pride doesn’t come easy, I hardly ever celebrate progress or even notice it. It’s not that you or I don’t accomplish things worth celebrating, far from it. Instead, there seems to be a handful of barriers that keep us from feeling pride towards ourselves. So why do we do this? Here are four reasons I’ve uncovered that keep us stuck.
1. The ADHD Factor (Even if You Don’t Have ADHD)
One insight from my therapist that really hit home: people with ADHD often move so quickly from task to task that they never get that “I finished!” dopamine hit. While I don’t have a proper diagnosis, I think a lot of us can relate to this feeling. We rush from one project to the next without ever pausing to appreciate how far we’ve come. For example, producing my podcast, by the time I got to episode 50, I hadn’t even thought of it as an accomplishment until I was saying the episode number out loud while recording. If we let it, milestones pass by and the feeling of accomplishment gets lost in the constant forward momentum.
2. Battling the “Not Good Enough” Script
Another big hurdle is the ever-present struggle with self-worth. As soon as I finish something, whether it’s a podcast episode or a piece of music, my inner voice starts critiquing: Sure, that’s done… but was it any good? It’s a trap—if the bar for “is it good enough” keeps moving, nothing ever feels like an achievement. I know I’m not alone in this, that voice of doubt or self-diminishment seems to echo for many of us.
3. Societal Expectations: Be Humble (But Not Too Proud)
Add to this the cultural expectation to “be humble,” and to not brag about something you’ve accomplished in order to avoid making others feel less than. It can feel easier to just keep small and not celebrate your wins. We’re taught to downplay our success for fear of coming off as boastful, so even when something good happens, we may keep it quiet or diminish its significance.
4. Childhood Patterns That Linger
It’s easy to overlook just how much our upbringing shapes our sense of self pride. Maybe we internalized messages that nothing we did was ever “good enough,” and that narrative follows us into adulthood. But growing up doesn’t mean those patterns can’t change. As adults, we have the opportunity to change our story and choose self-belief over self-doubt.
How to Start Feeling Proud
So what can you do? The one thing that helped me? Say aloud to someone else what you’re proud of. Find a friend, partner, or family member, anyone you trust. Make a time for dinner, lunch, coffee or even just a phone call. Name one thing, big or small, that you’re proud of, and invite them to do the same. It’s simple, but the act of sharing, and having someone reflect it back to you, can shift your perspective and let you really feel that accomplishment. Sometimes, saying it to another person can make all the difference.
What are you proud of today? Let me know in the comments!
This article was drafted with the help of AI (castmagic: podcast to text) but then reviewed and edited by a human being.