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The Art of Letting Go
Finding clarity by focusing your control.
The Cost of Worrying About Everything
For me it’s easy to worry about everything. It’s much harder to focus my attention on the things I should be, the things that will move me forward. I tend to worry about every little aspect of what I’m doing, which often leads to paralysis.
Sometimes when starting something new it’s too easy to think about everything that can go wrong, filling your mind with self-doubt and overwhelm. In this episode we dive deep into one of the most valuable and challenging life skill: the art of letting go.
The Struggle to Control
The instinct to control every detail of life can quickly consume you and lead to feeling overwhelmed. Especially when you are starting or building something new. This constrictive, controlling feeling has come up for me with my journey of growing my YouTube channel. I have this constant urge to keep checking my analytics and comments, hoping for an increase each time, but rechecking the numbers only causses me strife and wastes time. Slow growth is part of the process that I have no control over. I can’t make people subscribe or watch my videos. The lesson here, so much of what we stress about is simply out of our hands.
Worry can rarely offer solutions. We can begin to let go of the things we worry about, and cannot control, so that we can save our energy for what matters most. The things we can control.
Three Steps to Letting Go
The three-step process for mastering the art of letting go:
1. Figuring Out What You Can Control: Your Actions
There is only one thing that we truly can control: our actions. We can choose what we create, how we respond to others, and what to do with our thoughts and feelings. We can’t control our thoughts, but we can choose what we do with them. We can’t choose how people treat us, but we can choose how we react. We can’t choose if people listen to our podcasts, but we can keep creating them. For me this realization simplifies decision-making. Instead of getting lost in hypotheticals or reactive worry, we can shift our focus toward what we can actually do. Taking action.
2. Letting Go of the Rest
Once we’ve identified what we can control, everything else falls into the “let go” category. Easier said than done, of course, but try these strategies to help. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, rather than suppressing or judging those emotions. If there’s something out of your control, it can still make you upset or angry. Feel this, it will help you let go. By acknowledging frustration, sadness, or anger, we move through our feelings instead of holding onto them. If you don’t work through them or feel them, you will end up holding onto them, and allowing them to have power over you. Letting them go helps you move forward.
Another thing you can try if you are just feeling overwhelmed by everything, is to go outside into nature. For me, looking up at the stars in the night sky or out at the ocean can help me realize how small we are and see things from a bigger perspective. All the little things I’m worrying about seem to melt away and I remember what’s actually important.
3. Taking Action
Letting go isn’t passive. The third step is to actually doing the thing. Whether it’s making a new video for a YouTube channel, putting yourself out there creatively, or simply going outside to look up at the stars, acting on what’s in your control is where growth happens. This last step helps you to keep moving forward. Instead of being paralyzed by worry and control, you are making an action forward.
A Stoic Reminder
A quote from the ancient Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus “Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” This simple yet profound truth encourages us to refocus our energy on what we can do, letting uncertainty, and other people unfold as they will.
If you’re starting something new or struggling with expectations, remember: progress is found not by controlling every variable, but by consistently showing up, doing the work on what you can control, and letting go of the rest.
Join the Conversation!
Leave a comment and tell me how you practice letting go of what you cannot control. Your advice might reach someone just at the right time.
This article was written with the help of AI (castmagic) but reviewed and edited by a human being.