Overcoming The Fear of Making The Wrong Decision: How to Stop Overthinking | E97

Gino Cordone [00:00:12]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 97 of Working towards our purpose. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about being afraid of making the wrong decision. But before we get into that, we’re going to take a moment and just check in with ourselves as we always do, and just slow down and see where we’re at today. All right. Hopefully you got a second to check in. For me. I’m feeling pretty good today, feeling proud of myself, which is a feeling that I struggle to feel. Went to open mic last night, as I do every Wednesday, and I felt like I did pretty good by my standards, which, yeah, makes.

Gino Cordone [00:01:10]:
Makes me feel good. And, yeah, trying to. Trying to stay with that feeling of being proud of myself. And. Yeah, I don’t know, just feeling like the repetitions are paying off and like I’m seeing progress and that’s a cool feeling. And, yeah. Yeah, I guess I’ll leave it at that. But, yeah, if you’re not feeling proud of yourself, that’s okay, too.

Gino Cordone [00:01:42]:
And yeah, all feelings welcome. But let’s get into today’s episode. The feeling of being afraid of making the wrong decision. And this is certainly a feeling I’m familiar with. I think this topic came to me from talking to a friend who is making a big decision, a career change, a risk, going. Going out on the ledge and trying something, not knowing if it’s going to work out. Definitely, definitely can empathize with that and know what that feels like. And, yeah, it’s, like, exciting for me to talk to someone else who’s not me, because when it’s you, it’s scary and challenging and difficult, but from, you know, a different perspective, it’s like, yes, go do that.

Gino Cordone [00:02:41]:
Like, go. Go try it. But, yeah, we’re. Let’s get into that. That feeling of, like, what it feels like to. To be scared of making the wrong decision. Because. Because, I mean, that’s plagued me for, like, my whole life, I think, like, being just so unsure of, like, a decision and, like, trying to put all the pieces together and, like, get everybody’s opinions and being like, am I doing this right? And, yeah, so this friend expressed to me, like, just, like, it’s hard to feel, like, hard to know if it’s, like, the right decision and, like, you’re making this decision and even after making it and, like, committing on it, like, feeling, like, not regret, but.

Gino Cordone [00:03:29]:
But, like, oh, no, did I make the right decision? Was the decision that I made correct? Am I making a mistake sort of thing? I think one. One really big thing that happens Whenever you’re making a decision and getting other people’s advice and opinions and input, I think there’s a. Like, everybody has an opinion. Everybody tells you what’s right and what’s wrong. And I think, like, especially when you’re making a bigger decision, that it brings out, like, all the opinions and everybody will tell you something different. And yeah, it’s confusing. Like, it makes you confused because one person who maybe you trust tells you this thing, and then another person tells you the opposite. And it can be hard to know what’s right.

Gino Cordone [00:04:16]:
And so this friend that I was talking about, it was funny because her boss was, like, kind of swaying her to do the opposite of what she wanted to do. And it’s just interesting because that same boss was the person that you come in in the morning, you ask him how he is, and he’s like, I just, you know, I’m here, like, sort of thing. Like, I don’t know from the outside, from what I hear, it seems like, you know, maybe he’s not on. He’s not perfectly happy with his life choices, but yet here he is being like, you should do this because I was in your shoes one time and, like, this is what I did and it was good for me. And like, yeah, so it’s interesting. Like, I guess you really have to be careful of, like, who you. Whose advice you take. And.

Gino Cordone [00:05:07]:
Yeah, I mean, it reminded me of, like, so many of my own choices and decisions and, you know, my choice to leave corporate and make that huge career change and life decision and, yeah, just so many different people giving you their input and just leading to confusion and being afraid. And I’ve shared this before, but I remember when I was leaving corporate, one person that I felt like I aligned with a lot told me that making this feels like a big jump, but something will catch you. And maybe you don’t know what it is now, but it’ll work out. And I always go back to that piece of advice because it worked very well for me and it made me confident in making a decision even if I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be, because I knew it was more in the right direction. And so, yeah, I like to share that whenever I can. That if you’re afraid of making a decision and not sure if it’s the right one, not sure if it’s going to lead to a good outcome, know that, like, something will catch you. And if it’s a decision that’s made for you, then nothing, I believe nothing truly bad can come from It. And if it is bad, it’s a learning experience.

Gino Cordone [00:06:30]:
But we’ll get into that in a second. But, yeah, reminding me of, like, the decisions that I’ve made. And this one comes to mind. Back in 2023, I recorded my first album and, like, fucking finally finished something for once. Because I’ve always been recording stuff my whole life since learning how to play guitar and never finishing things, never ever sharing anything, never putting it out there. But I just had this conviction that I needed to post it online and put it on Spotify and all the streaming sites and stuff under my own name. And I was really afraid to make that decision. And I went back and forth and I was like, is this even good? I don’t even know.

Gino Cordone [00:07:14]:
I never showed anybody. It could be terrible. It’s cringy, maybe just thinking of all the bad things that could come of putting yourself out there. And I eventually came to the decision to just do it and not tell anybody, because that felt easier. And I did, and I. A lot of things came from that, I think. And do I like it now? I don’t know. Maybe.

Gino Cordone [00:07:40]:
But it was a piece in time. I feel like all music is that. But what it did for me was it made me feel. It made me take my music more seriously. Because I was like, okay, I finished this thing, and now I can improve upon that, and now I can go and do more things that I want to do. And ever since doing that, a decision that was really hard for me, I’ve been regularly releasing music and writing music, and it’s been such a positive change for my music career, I guess if you want to call it that, that feels weird, but, yeah. And so how did I know that decision was a good decision? And I think maybe that was one of the first decisions where I thought of it in this way. So getting to the point of how do you know that you’re making the right decision? And that’s sort of a clickbaity title, I guess.

Gino Cordone [00:08:37]:
But what I found for me is that when you’re making decisions and you’re getting everybody’s input and you’re confused and everything, the way to tell if you’re making the right decision is to look inward. And it’s probably no shock, it’s no big secret or anything, but if you can check in with your own self and make sure that you’re doing something, you’re making a decision because it’s something that’s internal, it’s something that you desire or something that you feel like you have to do. Or that voice in your head, that quiet voice in your head. That’s how, for me, I can tell if I’m making a right decision. And I think if I go back to thinking about releasing that album, I thought about all the people that know me and what is it going to look like? And every time I did that, I didn’t want to do it. But when I went on walks and I was by myself and I was in a good place and happy and, you know, full of energy, I thought to myself, like, yes, that’s easy. Just do it. This is what you want to do.

Gino Cordone [00:09:50]:
You want to do music. And I relied on that. And I think, like I said, it was the first time that I trusted myself. And I think that that was so important and pivotal because I’ve always struggled with trusting my own voice and trusting my decisions and what I think about things. And maybe if you’re somebody like that, you can relate. But it’s taken a lot of practice to trust my own intuition and trust my own feelings about things and listening to that and doing it. And when I’ve done that, the decisions have always been good decisions. And right or wrong is such a cliche almost.

Gino Cordone [00:10:34]:
A decision doesn’t have to be right or wrong, but when you’re making a decision for yourself, then it’s going to be the right decision. Because even if it leads to a bad thing, it’s going to teach you something. It’s going to let you feel like you have authority in your life and you can trust yourself more. And I think that’s kind of the biggest thing is for me, trusting my own self. And when I released that album, it gave me more confidence in my own decision making, because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if I put it out or didn’t put it out to anybody else. But for me, it was huge. And it was this huge stepping stone of, okay, I write singer, songwriter music now, and this is something I do, and this is something I can do. And the permission, the seeing myself through that lens, all that happened because I made the decision that I was feeling within myself, and I didn’t ask for outside permission.

Gino Cordone [00:11:37]:
And I probably did it too much where I didn’t tell anybody that I did it. And that’s kind of crazy, but that was my way of doing it. That was my way of not getting the outside influence, basically not asking anybody, except I think I maybe told my therapist, and I think that was pretty much it. And so, yeah, the point that I’m getting to is like, how do you know that you’re making a good decision? Ask yourself, is it aligned with you? Is it. That’s like the number one thing. Does it feel true to you? Does it feel like something that you truly desire? Or is it something that you think you should do based off of somebody else’s opinion or based off of societal expectations? And yeah, like, internally versus externally. I think when you can make a decision and you know that it’s coming from you, coming internally, then you know it can’t be a wrong decision. Because if you didn’t do that thing, then, you know, maybe you’ll still keep thinking about it.

Gino Cordone [00:12:37]:
But, like, at least you can rely on the fact that, like, you thought it was right and you thought that it was the best move for you. And somebody said something one time recently that I thought was pretty funny. And I don’t even remember the context of it, but they were saying it was their. I forget what it was. Dang, I forget. But he said something like, I don’t know, this is my first time living life. And I thought that was such a comical way of putting it. Because, yeah, none of us know what the right decision is.

Gino Cordone [00:13:16]:
None of us. None of us know what the right decision is or how to do life, because we’ve never done life before. We’re doing it now for the first time. But if you can rely, if you can call on yourself and listen to what’s within you, then that’s the best option. You know what I mean? That’s the best way of trying to figure out what’s going to make you happy and where you should be going with your life and that sort of thing, because that’s all you got, just your own inner voice and you can do things for other people. And I found that that does not lead to happiness for me. You know, going to college for something I didn’t want to do, going into a career that I didn’t want to do. I found it just led to emptiness and frustration, anger.

Gino Cordone [00:14:10]:
Like, all those feelings, like, angry. I was angry at myself for not letting myself be who I wanted to be. And I think that that’s kind of what this boils down to. And it’s like, if you can make a decision for you, for the person that you are, then it can’t be a wrong decision. And, yeah, it’s that simple. And I hope I’m making sense here, but I feel like I’m rambling a bit. But, yeah, that’s the main point. Just super simple.

Gino Cordone [00:14:42]:
If it’s simple to Say, and it’s simple to talk about, but to actually do it, it’s much harder and it takes a lot of practice and starting with small decisions, taking ownership over things. I don’t know, we live in a world that you can get by with having no ownership of your decisions and just by making no decisions. And we even talked about this in, I think, the last episode about decisions. Maybe, maybe I shouldn’t have done two episodes with decisions in the title, but that’s okay. So, yeah, I just want to talk about that. I just wanted to sort of share that. That you can’t make a wrong decision when it’s coming from within you. And hopefully that was helpful to anybody listening.

Gino Cordone [00:15:29]:
Hopefully that made sense. I know it’s super simple, but it’s a super complex feeling. But it’s a super simple answer. So I tried my best to distill it down and yeah, just put my thoughts out there. Yeah, I think that’s all I wanted to say. Yeah, just trust your own voice and yeah, if you have a hard time being hard on yourself, if you are hard on yourself, I have a free guide, Softening your inner critic in seven days. It’s sort of walks you through, like less than 30 minutes a day. These little exercises that can help you after seven days be hopefully a little more kinder to yourself.

Gino Cordone [00:16:18]:
So you can download that for free. It’s in the link of every episode, every YouTube video. It also gets you on my newsletter so that you get reminded of these episodes. And no spam or anything. And it’s completely free. And let me know if you download it. Let me know if it’s helpful for you or if it’s not. And I’d like to know.

Gino Cordone [00:16:38]:
So that’s all I got for you today. Hopefully this was helpful and I will see you on another episode real soon. We’re coming really close to episode 100. I’m gonna do something a little different for episode 100 and maybe recap the whole. The whole podcast existence and like, what I’ve learned over the past three years on purpose and working and everything. So look forward to that. We got a couple more episodes towards that, so can look forward to that in the future. But thanks for listening, appreciate your time and hopefully you can have a great rest of your day.