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The Power of Self-Compassion
In this episode of Working Towards Our Purpose we talk about how showing ourselves some compassion can help us through harder times, like when dealing with depression.
Talking About Depression
Fresh off a particularly rough weekend, I had a longer than normal bout of depression that lasted about 3 days. Nowadays, it’s rare for me to have a depressive episode lasting longer than a day, but I’m thankful it’s passed now. I wanted to use this opportunity as a chance to talk about depression on the podcast to help make it less of stigma and say that these experiences are common. A lot of people suffer from depression and if you don’t personally, I’m willing to be someone you know does.
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)
Sometimes, a single bad moment triggers a flood of negative thinking. These automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs, can take over and set a negative tone for the rest of your day or even trigger depression. Recognizing that they are happening is helpful in stopping them, and for me knowing there’s a name for it is helpful to put language to my experience. Also, picturing these ANTs as pesky ants can help take away their power. I first read about ANTs in the book “Undoing Depression” by Richard O’Connor.
Self-Compassion as a Habit
A key insight that helped to pull me out of my recent bout of depression was from the book “Resilient“ that I’m reading now by Rick Hanson. “When we treat others with respect and caring, the best in them usually comes out. Much the same would happen if we could treat ourselves the same way.” So why don’t we do the same for ourselves? He reminds us that learning self-compassion takes practice and repetition, just like learning any skill.
How To Practice Self Reflection
This simple but powerful journaling exercise has helped me feel self compassion. You can do it yourself by first getting out a journal and a favorite writing utensil, then answering these three following questions.
Write down a time that was really hard for you. Describe what happened and how you felt. Maybe it’s a memory from your childhood or a breakup or a loss of a job. Any time in your life that was challenging for you.
Then try and think about what that younger version of yourself needed. A hug? A friend? A parent who saw you? Whatever it is that you needed write that down.
Now imagine your present day self, giving that thing you needed to the younger version of yourself who was in pain. Write down how that feels.
Final Thoughts
Self-compassion isn’t a switch, it’s a muscle we build through practice. The next time you notice those negative thoughts creeping in, try to remember the ANTs analogy and to have some compassion with yourself. Practice kindness toward yourself the way you would for a dear friend.
Let me know what you do to help from feeling out of control in the comments!
This article was drafted with the help of AI (castmagic: podcast to text) but then reviewed and edited by a human being.
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