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Finding Purpose With Discipline: Rethinking How We Show Up for Ourselves
A discussion about the nuanced role that discipline takes in living authentically and pursuing your purpose.
Redefining Discipline: Beyond Punishment
Discipline is a word loaded with expectation and often, judgment. For many, it conjures memories of punishment, being scolded, put in time-out, or even harsher corrections. But being disciplined is also be a good thing. Lets define the two:
Negative discipline is punitive, rooted in criticism and the expectation of perfection.
Positive discipline is about consistency and dedication, showing up for yourself even when motivation isn’t there.
For me discipline isn’t about berating ourselves or meeting every external standard. Instead, it’s about supporting our own self on the path that feels most authentic. Not someone else’s idea of who we should be.
The Myth of Being Disciplined in Everything
Reflecting on my own journey, from going through engineering school and struggling in the corporate world, I found it hard to be disciplined at everything. Sometimes that made me feel lazy or not good enough, especially in school or corporate America. But what I realized was that those just weren’t my paths and trying to force discipline in them, wasn’t working.
There’s always someone telling you to push harder, be busier, wake up earlier, but is relentless effort in every area really the goal? The answer for me, is no.
Life, isn’t about forcing discipline on paths that aren’t meant for us. Instead, it’s about carefully choosing which path is calling and applying our energy towards that one. Then letting go of the rest, regardless of the thoughts and opinions of others. Our direction is up to us to choose.
Choosing Your True North: The Airplane Analogy
To illustrate this, we will use a common analogy. Imagine a plane flying from Hartford to Los Angeles. It simply can not stay on course with a single set of coordinates at takeoff. It needs constant course correction during the flight to account for the wind and weather along the fight path. Similarly, we need to periodically reassess whether our efforts align with our core values and ambitions.
For years, I “closed my eyes” and pushed through college and work without questioning why. By the time he realized engineering wasn’t right for me, I was off-course. I’d already invested 4 years in pursuit of a degree and 6 in a field that didn’t truly fulfill me. The lesson? Be willing to course correct and realign as you grow.
Discipline as Self-Support: The Dharma Principle
Drawing on inspiration from The Book of Dharma by Simon Haas, one of the 4 principals of dharma is discipline. Discipline, not being about the external pressure of what others expect of us, or what “successful” people tell us to do online, but about supporting ourselves in pursuit of something deeply meaningful and true to us.
This resonates deeply with me. Discipline not in forcing myself to fit into someone else’s idea of success, but in consistently showing up for things that I feel called to do, and put effort towards.
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How Do You Know Where to Apply Discipline?
So, how do you identify where discipline belongs in your life? Ask yourself one simple but profound question:
“Are you doing it for the right reasons?”
Are you disciplined because of external expectations; prestige, money, validation?
Or does the motivation come from within; a fire in your soul you can’t ignore?
If it’s the latter, lean in. Apply discipline with passion and commitment. If it’s a maybe, then take the time to figure it out some more before going in one hundred percent.
Discipline That Nurtures, Not Destroys
Discipline doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be nurturing and supporting, and can look like you showing up for what you believe in. Through my own experience I’ve found that beating myself up for not being discipline enough is a waste of energy, especially when it’s not something that even aligns with you.
When you find that internal motivation, your purpose, a direction towards your purpose, discipline transforms from self-punishment into self-respect. That’s where growth, and real progress happen.
If these ideas resonate, join the conversation and share your thoughts in the comment section. Remember, you don’t have to force discipline on paths that aren’t meant for us, only to the ones that are calling.