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Finding Clarity: How Knowing Yourself Leads to Better Decisions
Exploring the deep connection between knowing your true self and empowered decision-making
The Power of Decision-Making
Returning for the second part of our exploration on making better decisions, this follow-up dives deeper, asking: how well do we really know ourselves? I reflect on personal experiences and tie in recent quotes from impactful books I’m reading, arguing that every aspect of our lives is shaped moment by moment by the decisions we make. And those decisions are clearest when we truly know who we are.
Why Decisions Matter (More Than You Think)
We all make countless decisions every day, from the mundane to the life-altering. One quote I read from Simon Haas’s The Book of Dharma:
“What is life but a continual dynamic of accepting and rejecting, of saying yes or no. That simple process guides the direction of our life. It creates our world.”
In other words, life is the sum of our choices. I think back on my old self, stuck in a corporate America, feeling detached from life because up until that point, I wasn’t making choices that reflected my true self. The difference that intentional decision-making has helped me shape a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.
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The Missing Ingredient: Knowing Yourself
A pivotal quote from The Great Work of Your Life reframes everything:
“Arjuna, you do not know how to act because you don’t know who you are.”
Struggling with decision-making is rooted in not having clarity about who we really are. When we’re disconnected from our core, our values, and our strengths, choices may feel confusing or misaligned.
Four Questions to Find Yourself to Know Yourself Better
If self-awareness is the key, how do we start unlocking it? I offer four guiding questions to spark honest introspection and help you move toward more meaningful decisions:
1. Are You Happy with Your Choices?
Pause and take stock: are you satisfied with where your decisions have led you? I realized I was unhappy in the corporate world but I didn’t realize I wasn’t living in alignment with my true self. Looking back I can say, I didn’t really know myself then, and that’s why I found myself in a job I hated and unhappy in life. It’s okay if we find ourselves not happy with our choices right now, discomfort isn’t a failure, it’s valuable feedback for what needs to change.
2. Do You Know Your Values and What You Like?
Knowing your values can clarify which choices will bring satisfaction and which might leave you feeling empty. It can take time to figure our values out, but knowing and articulating them can give you a great decision making ability.
3. Do You Recognize Your Strengths?
Many of us are blind to our unique talents, or were conditioned to focus on weaknesses instead. I share how recognizing my own empathy and communication skills, while a poor fit for engineering, is a great fit for other jobs. Identifying strengths can help you seek opportunities where you’ll thrive.
4. Do You Feel at Ease or at Peace?
Finally, use peace as a compass. Are you restless, always finding yourself another distraction? Or do you experience moments of genuine ease with your choices and your current life? I’ve found that those moments of feeling at peace is really a reward from the better decisions that align with who I am.
Embracing Evolution and Authenticity
With all that said, self-understanding is never finished. Who you are changes, and so will your answers to these questions. The goal isn’t perfection, but continual reflection. When we let go of outside expectations and tune into our real selves, right decisions for us become easier and our path more meaningful. I’ll close with another from The Great Work of Your Life:
“In remembering who we really are, we are liberated from striving to be somewhere else, someone else.”