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Giving Yourself Permission: Embracing Your Power
How Shifting Your Mindset Can Unlock New Paths to Growth and Purpose
We all have dreams, projects, or passions that we put on hold, not for lack of desire, but because we’re waiting for permission. Sometimes, that approval comes from external sources: a teacher, a boss, or even societal expectations. But in this episode of “Working Towards Our Purpose,” we find out, the most significant approval often needs to come from within.
We discuss the liberating power of giving yourself permission to do, create, and become what you genuinely aspire to, even—and especially—when no official “gatekeeper” is granting you access.
The Power (and Limitation) of External Permission
I reflect on some personal stories in where external permission (or lack thereof) shaped my choices. As a child trying to get into band class I recalls the sting of a teacher’s hesitance of my apparently small hands. Fortunately with a father made sure to not listen to that advice and got me to play what I wanted. But the permission was almost denied by others’ limited perspective. We need advocates to remind us that gatekeepers are not always necessary.
Discovering Self-Permission: The Guitar Epiphany
A far more pivotal shift came later for me when I first picked up the guitar. Initially overwhelmed and unsure where to even begin, the instrument sat, untouched, in the closet. The traditional route of finding a teacher or learning to read music seemed too intimidating. But the discovery of online guitar tab sites, like Ultimate Guitar Tabs, with their simple numeric instructions, changed everything. This was an invitation to give myself the permission to learn.
I realized I could set his pace, choose music that interested me, and could bypass the need for external validation. The thrill of teaching myself was self motivating, and made all the difference.
Mindset Matters: Inspiration Versus Jealousy
Another storytelling moment came in high school when I recognized how two people can look at the same situation and draw opposite lessons. A friend and I discussing one of our favorite guitarists, Dimebag Darrell, had opposite feeling of the same person. My friend felt discouraged, convinced he could never reach that level, and I felt inspired thinking, if someone else could do it, why couldn’t I?
This story is a powerful reminder: much of our permission is entangled with mindset. Do we see accomplished people as a cause for envy and discouragement or as inspiration, tangible proof that growth is possible? Flipping jealousy on its head and viewing it as motivation transforms internal barriers into bridges.
3 Practical Tips for Granting Yourself Permission
Three concrete steps to help you access this mindset in your own life:
Grant Yourself the Permission: Recognize you hold the power to decide what you pursue: not your parents, teachers, or society. Commit to giving yourself that green light.
Use Jealousy as Fuel: Notice moments when you feel envious. Instead of letting them discourage you, ask what they reveal about your own desires, and let those feelings motivate you to put energy into practice or learning.
Surround Yourself with Support: Seek out people who encourage your ambitions, however unconventional. Positive reinforcement from others can strengthen the inner voice that urges you forward.
Why This Matters Today
In the past, publishing a book or releasing music required passing through powerful gatekeepers. Now, with the internet, anyone can create, share, and connect, often without official approval. There’s no need to wait for someone to dub you “good enough.” You have the permission to do whatever it is that you envision in your head, and you don’t have to wait on somebody else.
So what’s the thing you’re waiting for permission to do? Challenge yourself to take a step towards it today. That first step could be as easy as commenting on this post and letting me know what it is. Your purpose is waiting, and you are the only one who can truly grant yourself permission to begin.